As a professional product reviewer, I am skeptical of all products available on the Internet. Many companies invent a problem that no one has ever had, just so they can sell you something to solve it. Have you ever tried to blend gallons of liquid without the lid, or tried to chop vegetables with a rusty machete and greasy hands? Me neither. Accessibility issues aside, most of the time you simply don’t need a Slap Chopnot when kitchen knives I’m very good.
But all that ended when I tested the Big Blanket Co. Oversized Blanket. I didn’t know I needed a huge amount of coverage until I started using it, and now I want 75 more. It’s just a blanket, but it’s also one of the few things I use every day.
Big and responsible
This gigantic wood measures 10 feet by 10 feet. Your 64-inch blanket will never be able to. It covers entire rooms. At 5’1″, I can wrap myself in it multiple times. I can make myself little dinosaur hand and foot sandwiches and still have a blanket to spare with my cat, partner, or both.
The silky soft finish could be a little heavier, but it still keeps me nice and warm. Because it is made of polyester and elastane, everything is machine washable. It also dries quickly, even in my dilapidated dryer. They come in a wide variety of styles and colors. I use the Original Stretch, but there is Stretch Sherpa ($249) And Plush ($279) versions and a few others, some of which are intended for outdoor use. The Original Stretch is on sale during most major shopping holidays.
I can’t emphasize enough how huge this thing is. You can accommodate as many people underneath. The most I’ve managed to fit under it so far is four grown adults and a cat, but you could fit a whole family of kids snuggled up for movie night under one of these. Picture it: a large group of your favorite friends, enjoying the comfort of sharing a blanket without any of the squished beings. It’s the future.
There is always more
I’m obsessed with feeling comfortable and I’m horrible at it. I can’t sleep until my blankets are perfectly positioned and my hands and feet are too. I’ve driven my partner crazy on several occasions because I just can’t stop moving. This giant blanket is a unique deal. I sit, settle in and lounge in layers of cuddly goodness, with room to spare. I can turn around and rearrange as much as I want, and my whole body is still covered. I started carrying the blanket from room to room in my house so I could be as comfortable as possible at all times.
My skin no longer sticks to my vintage Naugahyde sofa, which is great but terribly uncomfortable. I don’t argue with my partner about thermostat settings. I don’t sit on the couch in a daze, wanting to take a nap but failing to get comfortable enough under a throw, just stuck in a sleepy void. I don’t have to choose between having cold ankles or cold shoulders. My cat can take up as much unnecessary space as he wants, all without compromising my ability to cover myself. This huge blanket is one of my best cozy companions. I wrap myself up and am immediately transported to the realm of utmost relaxation.
This oversized blanket has solved so many of my real-life problems that I didn’t even realize were problems in the first place. I feel like I’m in an infomercial. My whole life was in black and white, and now I live in color. There’s motivational music playing in the background and I’m scampering through the fields, dragging my gigantic blanket in tow.