6 Financial mistakes we make because of love
We do not want to think about money when we are in love. And completely in vain because it is easy to take the wrong step under the influence of feelings.
Love affects the brain. Scientists have recorded this. In lovers, some areas of the cerebral cortex work more actively than those not in love. But vigorous activity is only sometimes beneficial.
Don’t think that money means nothing in a relationship. The financial issue has destroyed more than one couple. Consider if you are making one of these mistakes.
You always pay for your loved one.
You do not feel sorry for anything; you want to show generosity and care for your loved one. Romantic aspirations, but even because of them, do not take your lover on security. This is dangerous.
Sooner or later, one partner will feel that he is being exploited and offended. Or he will begin to pressure another partner, arguing that whoever pays orders the music.
Another unpleasant scenario: a supported partner begins to perceive a loved one as a walking piggy bank, and this is no longer about love.
Trust and care are great, of course. But only if you both refrain from warping. Are you sure you can? Prove your love with deeds and gifts, but do not take on all other people’s expenses.
You adapt to your partner’s habits.
Differences in income and attitudes towards money also affect habits. Someone prefers to save and saves every penny; someone likes to live in grand style. When one partner reaches for the habits of another, it turns out so-so.
For example, a couple goes on vacation to an expensive resort, but the wealthy partner then lives as if nothing had happened, and the poor partner goes on a strict diet of water and bread. They make sacrifices for the sake of love, but if only one person does it, the relationship ends. You risk being left without love and money.
You need to take into account the financial capabilities of a partner.
If you believe that money does not play a role in a relationship, it is tempting not to consider the financial issue. Sometimes this leads to paradoxical situations when on vacation, a couple flies on different planes and lives in different hotels because it is expensive for one of them.
It shouldn’t be taken to the point of absurdity. It is enough to give a damn about the fact that you again go to a restaurant alone because this institution is beyond the means of your beloved. Soon you will be dining without your loved one because he will leave.
You became a guarantor.
It is necessary to trust a loved one, but it is foolish to act as a guarantor when the relationship is still at the stage of violent love. Money can ruin everything.
A loved one buys a car, apartment, or equipment but buys it for himself. Loans are given for several years, and it is not a fact that you will be together all this time. And if the breakup turns out to be stormy, then in the hands of the former partner, there will be an instrument of pressure on you. The bank does not care that love has passed, you have a crisis in your relationship, and you have decided to live separately. The bank will demand money.
Take loans sober. Feelings on the side.
You need to discuss the overall budget.
You decided that you could not stand without each other, and now you live together. You send money to one cash desk, like a proper family, as under communism: from each according to his ability, to each according to his needs. Sounds great, but there is one thing.
The overall budget is a test of sanity and credibility. Are you sure you’re ready for this?
Even with a semi-separate budget, when a couple develops for common needs and spends the remaining income at their discretion, it is only sometimes possible to decide whether the money is being spent correctly.
At the beginning of a relationship, we don’t give a damn about the little things: we will spend the total money on food and household chemicals. But then it turns out that someone “eats” most of this budget. For example, one partner loves seafood, while the other is allergic and has enough porridge. The recalculation begins, and the reproaches begin.
To refrain from quarrel over the number of earnings and expenses, you need to know exactly where the money comes from and how it is distributed. Distribute your expenses to the smallest detail and stick to this plan. It’s better than finding out later who spent more.
You hide debts from the second half.
A disgusting idea, even if you act with good intentions (don’t want to worry your partner). Along with debts, you will also have to hide income, and lies have never been the foundation for a strong relationship.
Old debts will spoil the family’s plans if you apply to the bank for a loan with favorable terms.
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